Friday, January 7, 2011
Yes, it’s true, I’ve officially been out of the closet as a chocoholic for most of my adult life. I can’t recall with absolute certainty when my preoccupation with chocolate began, but the older I get, the stronger the addiction. Unlike other self professed chocoholics I have no intention of severing my long standing relationship with the proverbial monkey that’s been sitting on my back all these years. No, we’re the best of friends.
But for the sake of research and development I did scour the internet for some insight regarding the addiction. Alas, there was only a mere smattering. Either they were citing the nutritional benefits, or alluding to the seductive allure and emotional gratification that one experiences after consuming chocolate. Peppered amongst the sites were a few of the lonely chat rooms disguised as support groups with faceless individuals claiming to be in the throes of kicking their unrelenting habit, or just kicking themselves for being addicts.
But I’m getting off track, back to the real story.
10:30am
It was a cold and rainy Saturday morning here in
Southern California one of those weather anomalies we experience every now and then; it’s difficult for Angelinos to relate to the cold, rain, sleet, snow and ice that the outside world is forced to endure. Most of the time we’re basking in the warmth and glow of the
California sun; don’t hate us for living in paradise, we can’t help it we’re just weather wimps. Although on those rare occasions when we have to brave the element, we suck it up and deal with it.
However, today was one of those days that I had no intention of venturing out into. Until I discovered I had run out of Raw Cacao Powder for my morning smoothie.
I ransacked the kitchen hoping that I might have secretly stashed some chocolate, but there wasn’t so much as gram to be found.
Just in case you’re not up to speed with my situation, I gave up all addictions and unhealthy habits including coffee a few years back. Now my only vice is CHOCOLATE!
Not just any chocolate, RAW CACAO CHOCOLATE.
Why raw chocolate, you ask?
Because raw chocolate is just that, RAW, as in HEROIN raw and I needed a fix, and quick.
Did I mention I was a chocoholic?
Well, now you have it…
I usually obtain my supply from the internet; leaving me to wait three business days for a drop shipment from FEDEX …Unacceptable…I wanted it, I needed it, not tomorrow or Tuesday, but now… right now!
So I did what any addict would do, I took it to the street…But finding a dealer who specializes in raw cacao, or even carries it as a side venture wasn’t going to be easy.
It just so happens I live minutes from Venice beach, you know, the hippie capital of Southern California second only to San Francisco’s Height/Ashbury district, and if it's a drug you're looking for or a substance of an organic nature, well then, you’ve come to the right place, because the residents of this fair beach town pride themselves on their bohemianism, and if you can’t find it here in Venice, it doesn’t exist.
After having exhausting all the health food emporiums and Zen specialty shops, my determination was beginning to teeter on desperation. That's not to say that my “Jones” had gotten so bad that I was willing to sell my soul, or reveal state secrets; that is, if I knew any…but I wasn’t planning on going home empty handed either. I finished pouring the last bit of coinage into the parking meter when I looked up to see a make-shift sign dangling over an itty, bitty, tiny café that read: “Herbal Teas, Coffee and Natural Foods”. This was my last outpost. I asked the barista of the café if he knew of a place that sold RAW food, and to my surprise he said yes: “There is a small store just a short walk from here that specializes in raw food and they probably would have some raw chocolate too”.
He came out from behind the counter and pointed in the direction that was around the corner and down what he described as a small side street: “it’s easy to find there’s a sign out front and the door is open”.
Did I mention I was in
Venice, CA?
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Venice, allow me to address some important points, besides being the hippie capital of Southern CA adorned with it’s post “Flower Child” eurhythmic style, it’s wrapped up in an anomaly within the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area, in that Venice is not a sprawling bedroom community, it’s more like, San Francisco or Manhattan, where the neighborhoods change radically from block to block. Here, in Venice, you could be walking across one of the many picturesque canals while admiring any number of multi million dollar homes with boats dock in the front yard and cute ducks waddling by, and then, in the blink of an eye, you’ll round the corner and without warning, find yourself smack in the middle of one of the most notorious gang infested “hoods” in the country!
So, when the man said: “it’s just a short walk around a corner down a side street”, the latitude and longitude of those directions could easily land me in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle, or worse, gang central.
I must have walked about two blocks before I stumbled onto a narrow alley, actually it was more like a walkway that resembled something you'd see in impoverished third world countries where even a donkey wouldn’t venture down. I continued walking a few paces when I finally located an arched doorway that was attached to metal siding supported by a corrugated shed like structure housing a hand written sign on poster board that read: RAWSOME. I could hear voices coming from a narrow passageway, so I followed the sounds.
There seated behind a make shift reception desk were two ladies. They looked up to acknowledge my presence and asked if I was a member.
A member...you mean like a Club Store I said? Well, kind of of it’s a “Members Only” establishment there’s a $10.00 membership fee, would you like to join?
If this was all that was standing in the way, then O.K. on one condition…
Do you sell raw cacao chocolate powder I asked?
Oh yes, we carry raw chocolate.
I filled out the paperwork. They laminated the card right there on the spot. It was official I was now a registered, card carrying RAW foodist.
The set-up resembled a crude general store. On both sides were vegetable and fruit bins. To the right was a large walk-in refrigerator the size of a small car port. A clerk arrived and escorted me to the dry goods section. There, on the shelf were copious amounts of Balinese Raw Cacao Chocolate neatly arranged in plastic zip lock sandwich baggies all weight out like dime bags. I scooped up the equivalent of 3 kilos; I thought it best to leave some for the others I didn’t want to appear greedy, especially since it was my first visit.
4:45pm
It was geting late, a time of day the Chinese refer to as “the fox and the hound” when it’s still daylight but not quite twilight, but just enough to impair your vision. I had just finalized my purchase when I heard a loud commotion coming from the front desk.
There were four men in suits waving badges and carrying guns ordering everyone to FREEZE!
Were we being robbed, or was it a raid?
What branch of the government was raiding a health food store?
FBI, ATF, DEA, nope, it was FDA: Food and Drug Administration. Gosh, I didn’t realize they issued guns to the FDA I mean how life threatening can their job be?
Perhaps they were tranquilizer guns…
Whatever it was, I was just grateful we weren't standing at a Mexican border crossing or passing through customs in an
Eastern European Airport. Before you could say Midnight Express, the other three agents back themselves against the entrance setting up a blockade to prevent anyone from entering or exiting the premises. The lead agent made an announcement that anyone who had not yet purchased would be escorted out, while the rest of us were required to empty our bags for inspection.
Inspection!
Had
California suddenly become a police state?
Since when did it become illegal to purchase organic produce?
I hadn’t braved the cold, wind and rain for nothing, and come hell or high water I wasn’t leaving without my 3 kilos of chocolate!
Apparently the substance in question was Raw Dairy products, and selling raw dairy is illegal in the state of
California. They proceeded to confiscate all raw milk and cheeses from the walk-in refrigerator and from those who had purchased them.
Fortunately, chocolate wasn’t the contraband they were after, and I was free to leave.
